hardness time

Dear all, long time I haven’t managed my blog. 6th semester of my study greatly made me desperate after all. But it was happy and fun. I enjoyed it with all of the hardness time.


Still, until now, I just keep thinking about how can I get involved in the field of study that I’ve never liked. Biology, Microbiology.

It’s actually not I wanted to discover more.

I don’t like memorizing something, and microbiology makes me (should) memorize all of the subject that given to me.

I don’t like repeating something for a long time, and microbiology offers laboratory works that is weekly done.


and another things that I’m loathing about

no one ever knows about this.

that I was so desperate to face all of those things.

but like always, I’m the one who can make another side of my self.

I’ve been always seemed to be happy, right?


but, everything just happened.

it goes very smoothly.

and I still don’t get the meaning.


I was once confronted by a difficult situation, when I was accepted in two university, Fakultas Kesehatan Masyarakat (UI) and Sekolah Ilmu dan Teknologi Hayati (ITB) after graduated from high school.

my father said something to me. he confidently said this thing to me.

you can do everything. even if it needs more courage to face it, needs more time to give the best, I’m sure that you can really do that. you proved this to me since the first time.


and yap,

I just kept thinking why I was accepted in 2 faculties that are very related to Biology?

why did Allah want me to get involved in something which I don’t ever like?

why were my biology teacher so happy when I told him about my acceptance to those faculties?

why did my mother seem contented when she knew that information?

and, for sure,

why did my father say that things to me?


firstly I am not really sure that I can really do that. studying for a long time in the field that I won’t to know more, it’s such a hard thing, right?

but, finally, my father has proved his words, I guess.


and I think, this will happen in another condition.

like what’s happening right now.


it’s hard to choose.

really hard.

and I don’t know what to say.


One thought on “hardness time

  1. Future is sort of Allah’s secret. Anxiety exists because we have no any idea our future. We hesitate to what we have already chosen. Later, it comes up the question whether I can over come these all. Let Allah make your future beautiful by still keeping in asking to.

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