I dont know how many intersections I should cross over,
I dont know how often the obstacles and failures would come over me,
I dont even know in which part of this world I could find the dazzling light after passing through this long-dark-hallway,
and yeah, I dont even know how much I should put an effort in order to get survive in this kind of world,
foremost, just letting myself stay as I am now, i dont even want it the most. i could say, it will never happen.
i would never let myself do something as the common people do. it’s too mainstream, you know.
the thing is,
that what the me right now is like someone who’s remembering thing which seems to be forgotten in a long-time
there should be something to be addressed
and you know, it should be fixed, no matter what.
then, some questions are coming out.
what does the peacefulness mean?
what is actually the self-satisfaction, itself?
why people are so passionate to reach the happiness?
what is happiness itself actually?
i got it now.
they are inside your heart.
it comes from your tenderness,
from your keen hearts, that brings you into the world where you can feel how nothing you are in this universe,
how you are not more than a dusty-tiny thing that could exist in this kind of world.
and now, its like..I fully recognized things.
the current myself is the one who can see the certain things in a proper way, undoubtedly placing the innermost heart as the main perspective, driven by the reasonable cause.
living in this kind of world, yeah, its really made me
while seeing what people see, what people feel, what people stand on, what people hold on,
its like introducing a new world, new things, to me,
that the place where you are standing on right now, is not as complicated as you think.
you dont have to think much about what they are talking, what they are doing.
just think what you should think about.
like, what preparation have you done to face the Hereafter?
what kind of things that could be the guarantee for yourself, to deal with the day where you cannot even get any help from anyone else?
and I finally realized,
that its nor because of my kindness works, neither because of my virtues and decencies,
its more about how far He blesses me and praises me till the day when there is no warranty besides His guardian.
and yeah, that’s all what we should think about.
12 June 2014
under the day with a very heavy rain